That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pants are for mortals
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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