If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize