sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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