i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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