I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
