You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
3 2 1 whiskey
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
