This is not my ceiling
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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