I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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