I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize