i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
