Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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