Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
