I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
