she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this hospital has no fireball
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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