she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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