Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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