i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
