We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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