I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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