So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
