we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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