u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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