I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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