I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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