i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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