And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This baby is an asshole
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
