There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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