Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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