I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize