Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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