Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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