then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
