dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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