idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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