At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
