That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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