"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
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Slut skills are useful in every country.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My vagina is officially offended.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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