Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're making bets on your personal life
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize