Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
