I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize