Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
