Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
