my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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