You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
