there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
