You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
