just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hippo gnu deer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
