Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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