If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
