There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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