There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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