I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
