It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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