JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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