this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
