i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
