I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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